Take five minutes, go make yourself a cuppa and have some fun looking at some funny and wacky things we have gathered about money, finance, wealth and much more.
It has been a bizarre and bumper year for baby names in 2013. The annual poll by the Bounty Parenting Club has analysed the names provided to 370,000 infants this year and has extracted the most popular, the biggest movers and the strangest monikers. Incredibly Vogue, Reem, Peppa and Tea have all been chosen as names this year, while Jack remains the top pick for boys and Amelia for girls. But we’ve run all the relevant factors through our great big computer and come up with some possible name choices for 2014.
TAKE A BREAK
With Vogue emerging as an unusual name for girls in 2013, our computer predicts that other magazines might inspire prospective parents. With its mixture of real-life stories, celebrity gossip and television listings, Take a Break is rightfully regarded as one of the most beloved periodicals in the country. Ideal for either sex, the name Take-a-Break could be hyphenated or run together (Takeabreak) to provide an interesting and exotic moniker. (Source)
Once upon a time, television production companies hired writers to create fictional broadcast works by using their imagination and intelligence. Thank God those primitive days are behind us and now we have the forward thinking and thoroughly entertaining genre of reality television to help make those long winter evenings fly by. And lucky us! Not only do we get to enjoy these adventures every day of the week on the box, we can also indulge in all manner of merchandise to remind us of the shows when they are not on. Some of these items tend to veer into the ‘bizarre’ end of things. As the following illustrates…
TOWIE WALL STICKER
Are you failing to keep calm and being reem on a regular basis? Perhaps you are bursting into rooms in a frantic manner, after which you fail to be completely reem in any way possible. What you need is an enormous, high-quality, vinyl adhesive reminder to be both calm and reem that can be affixed to a wall or, even more advantageously, many walls. And what is more, this one is coloured beige to increase the attractivity quotient. (Source)
After the vast financial outlay of the festive season and the over-indulgence of New Year there is only one thing to do. Splurge some more! At a slightly reduced price! Yes, the January sales exist to help buy things to store or hold all the tat you just received for Christmas. But you can’t just hurl yourself at the nearest superstore and start throwing money at the nearest sales assistant. You will need a strategy to effectively maneuver the racks and aisles that hold the bargains you desire. Here are a few simple tips and ideas to make your shopping trip more successful.
GET THERE EARLY
Every year you hear stories of people camping out in the queue outside the doors of a department store, ready to plunder it come Boxing Day. To ensure you’re head of the line and get your grubby mitts on all those delicious bargains, you need to dedicate yourself to arriving early. No, not the week before Christmas, or early December – I’m talking March. Look, how desperate for savings are you? Yes, you may need to take a leave of absence from work, abandon your family and disguise yourself as a parking meter to ensure you’re not constantly moved on, but when you get that pair of slacks reduced by 15%, it will all be worth it. (Source)
One of the main problems over-arching the festive season (other than what to do with all the wrapping paper if your local council decides you can’t recycle it) is the quandary of unwanted gifts. Errant and baffling presents provided by elderly relatives and Secret Santas can clog up cupboard space and storage units for decades to come. The most unwanted gifts of this year were recently revealed by website MusicMagpie (Source) so if you did receive any of these holiday stinkers, here’s a quick guide to what to do with them.
LADY GAGA - BORN THIS WAY
Poor Gaga. Not only was her new album ARTPOP a bit of an Art Flop, but her 2011 attempt, Born This Way, was the most unwanted gift this holiday season. Over 50,000 ended up on MusicMagpie in the days after Christmas. But all you need is a colour photocopier and a laminating machine and you could quickly and easily create an attractive set of Gaga coasters from the CD cover, for all those ‘crazy’ hot beverages you set down on the coffee table.
The recent festive season saw a return to our screens of popular 1970’s comedy favourite Open All Hours. In Still Open All Hours, put-upon assistant Granville has inherited the corner shop from his tightfisted uncle Arkwright, with hilarious consequences. Surely the success of this returning, enduring classic, as well as the recent resurrection of Birds of a Feather, Red Dwarf and Yes Minister, will ensure that other heritage comedies will be updated and rebroadcast.
SOME GRANDMOTHERS DO HAVE THEM
Frank Spencer is now a little long in the tooth and his hips are simply too weak to get involved in the madcap, slapstick adventures of his youth. But his offspring, the former Baby Jessica (Miranda Hart) is just as clumsy and ineffective as her father! Bettie is long gone (obviously) so father and daughter live together and try to act normally, but tend to fail miserably in this endeavour at every turn. And they have both inherited a haunted jam factory, which ensures that messy and ridiculous japes occur every week. (Source)
There is plenty of celebrity related tat that gets sold at auction. Anything that a famous person has signed, looked at or half-eaten tends to end up under the hammer (or on eBay). But occasionally something truly cool and classy comes along. Amazing items owned by the amazing (and then flogged off to the highest bidder). Here is a compendium of some of the hippest bits and bobs owned by the stars of stage and screen.
BRUCE LEE’S JUMPSUIT
This isn’t any old Bruce Lee jumpsuit, but the iconic yellow one he wore and fought in during the film Game of Death. Selling for $100,000 the celebrated outfit inspired Quentin Tarantino to dress Uma Thurman in a similar one for the film Kill Bill. If jumpsuits aren’t you thing, Bruce Lee’s numchucks and other weaponry were also available for sale. (Source)
These days it seems as if you get your own bespoke fragrance before you’ve even got a record deal or an IMDB entry. The strangest and most obscure celebrities offer you mere mortals the chance to smell just like them, or at least smell like a smell that they like to smell. Stars from the worlds of music, film, television and unclassified all have their own delightful perfumes and colognes. So see if any of these delights takes your fancy…
Smell like a Trump! Swaddle yourself in the odour of the rich and famous by whiffing just like the most powerful man on the planet who happens to have hair that looks like that. Apparently it smells woody, spicy, peppery, minty and citrusy – or you could create a similar stench by rolling around in the fresh produce section of your local supermarket. (Source)
What do you get the One Direction fan in your life who owns LITERALLY everything branded with their favourite close harmony singing outfit? Don’t worry, just when you thought they possessed absolutely everything in the way of posters, books and charcoal briquettes, there will always be another swathe of official merchandise on its way out of the factory. But just in case you’re in the vicinity of a 1D fanatic and need to come up with some alternative solutions quickly, why not try these ideas?
Come on, they’ll love this! You can offer them an extravagantly wrapped present, which they can rip open with excitement and when they see it’s a compass you can shout, ‘Now you’ll be able to go in one direction! Accurately!’ The whole room will collapse in appreciative laughter. Perhaps you can even etch the name of the band on the glass with a screwdriver or something. (Source)
STRANGEST CHRISTMAS MUSIC VIDEOS
Christmas doesn’t officially begin until we all hear Noddy Holder screaming its arrival (usually about 14 times a day, starting in early October). Certain Christmas music classics, and their accompanying videos, have become bone fide festive favourites, unavoidable at that particular time of year. But for every Last Christmas there are a swathe of bizarre yuletide tunes that have a similarly odd promotional film to go with it. Here is a selection of some of the weirdest…
HALL & OATES – JINGLE BELL ROCK
A Christmas classic performed by two beautifully hirsute behemoths of the 1980’s music world. The song is a pretty faithful rendition, but the video is really quite strange, featuring our two heroes possibly under heavy sedation and turning away various equally zombified well-wishers from their festive door.
It’s a question that has dumbfounded man throughout the ages. Just how does Father Christmas manage to visit every house on the planet (or at least those on the ‘nice’ list) in one night? One explanation may be the sheer different types of Santas that exist in films, TV shows and various aspects of popular culture. There are happy Santas, manic Santas, singing Santas and even sexy lady Santas. But which variation of Old Saint Nick is the most similar to you? Take a look through the list, checking it twice if necessary, and see which Santa you are…
(As seen in Santa Claus: The Movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas)
If you are larger gentleman with a penchant for wearing red and a beard you could easily house a small mouse family within, then you’re probably most like the traditional Santa. You’ll undoubtedly love the smell of a reindeer, the taste of a mince pie and the delicious, quenching sensation of an ice-cold Coca Cola. If you don’t see a turkey-based Christmas dinner on the table immediately after the Queen’s speech followed by sherry and napping, you’ll probably start hurling crockery around and screaming. (Source)
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